“…we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the weather.”
Things feel different today. Lighter, fresh and bright. My shoulders are tucked back and my hands are strong. Ideas pop and words float out. My feet are firm in each step forward. My eyes find the old man’s face and the locomotive hidden in the clouds and the deep blue in between. I am liquid lapping at the rocks and finding my way back to balance.
I am clear and happy and connected. It feels good.
Recently I hadn’t been feeling this way. The last few weeks I had been the rocks, jagged and stuck tight. I felt the water flow over me and was only left wet and cold. I was missing the signs and losing sight of all the color that was around me. My body was not my own.
And then I remembered that it is all an illusion and here I am, right where I want to be.
Things feel different today not because the world’s ills are cured or because life has slowed itself or because my girls have signed a non-aggression pact. In this world full of changes, very little really changes. The only thing that changes is us, really.
The characters in the play, the scenery and the scene, those things change. You may be actor one day and audience the next. The details may seem different, but the story stays the same.
It all comes down to how we perceive it, how we shape the reality in which we are swimming. And our perception is up to us.
How we choose to look at things is how they are. We create reality.
Today is different because I made it different.
When I write that out, it sounds so simple. And I guess that it is, but finding my way out of those moments when I am the rocks, when I am stuck and rigid and precarious, doesn’t feel simple or even possible. When I am there, I am not sure that I even want to change.
What it comes down to is our energy. That quote up there is from a comedian talking about an acid-fed hallucination that leads to a pretty powerful (and positive) realization. He talks about how matter is just energy condensed to a slow vibration. All matter – you, me, water, mountains, books, dogs, sand, a shoe, broccoli – is just energy. Ask Einstein.
That reality is overwhelming to consider, but its application is even more so.
If all we are is energy, then we can do with that energy what we want. After all, it is energy. It is dynamic and fluid and malleable.
Every cell of our bodies, every atom, every particle, is condensed energy that can be guided and moved as we choose.
Our energy reacts to what we think, what we eat, how we act, all that is around us. When I felt stuck recently, I had been eating poorly and physically felt awful. That feeling rolled into negative thoughts which grew into negative behavior and my whole being ached. That black and stagnate energy that I had created also had no force working against it to change it to anything else, so every particle that I am left me feeling like that was where I should stay. It wasn’t until my consciousness of what I am awoke that I began to move in a different direction. And then it wasn’t until that consciousness moved me to actively change my energy that anything happened.
There are an infinite number of ways to change your energy, but it all starts with the understanding of what we are. What we put into our bodies – how we feed our energy – and what kind of energy we surround ourselves with lay the foundation. Then it is just a matter of finding what sustains you.
This reality is all an illusion. The illusion is one of a lack of control. We may not control that which is not ourselves, but that which is ourselves is all that really matters when it comes to our reality. And that reality is what we make it, how we see it and how we change it.
I will forget this and remember this a thousand times more. I will be the water and the rocks, over and over, for the rest of this life. My energy – my body, mind and spirit – will forever by moving forward and backward, vibrating to the rhythm that is me. And I will be the creator of it all.