My Best Friend

This post is part of The Write On Project
topic: Best Friends

She is my best friend.

First, she was a crush. She would glide by, just above the floor, and I would fade into the walls. I could never have approached a woman like that. Not me. Not like her. But I sure looked forward to the moments when our paths would cross.

Years passed and our paths crossed less and less frequently, then not at all. But this woman’s name stayed with me. This woman that I hardly knew more than a hello. Even then, her name made me feel like a boy again.

Then the universe spoke up.

I still saw a mutual friend of ours every now and then. One night I asked him about her. I tried to be casual, but I know I wasn’t. I tried to be indifferent, but I could see he knew better. He laughed, saying something about us messing with him. I later found out she had asked him about me the night before.

Three days later that mutual friend put us in the same bar. As the sun rose the next morning, she and I were still sitting on the rocks at the edge of the harbor, still talking, still laughing, still wondering if it could be real. We cried a lot that night just looking at each other.

That was almost nine years ago now.

We fell in love hard. Never would I have imagined that I could be so connected to somebody. It was as if our lives had changed in an instant but we had been together forever. We floated, knowing we had discovered something rare and different and special. We had no idea then how special it was.

The next year we moved to the other side of the country because there was no way in hell we were going to be apart. It wasn’t easy, but it was right. We danced together often and our love was romantic and soft and fun. We laughed a lot. More than just love, we really liked each other.

Many sunsets later we had our first child. Then our second. Our younger daughter is three now and the one my mom told me I had coming to me. Our older daughter is four and a half and looks exactly like her mom. They are wonderful and busy. Their mom works and I stay home. It is wonderful and busy.

Our love affair doesn’t look like it once did. Two children and a busy career and the stresses of life change the shape of things and mold them into what you may not have expected. It won’t always be like this, but it will be for a while. I just kind of has to be. And that’s all right.

Actually, it’s better than all right – it’s perfect. Life and wisdom have a funny way of stripping away the details to show you the real stuff, the earth, the dirt. Falling in love is magical and those memories will carry on, but we aren’t falling anymore. It is different now, but it is also bigger. Much bigger than even our eyes can see.

We don’t dance like we used to because there are often four other feet between us. We don’t swirl in the romance of it all much anymore either because little voices and little needs leave us with little time and little energy. But we still laugh a lot and we like each other even more now. And we still cry just looking at each other.

We are more of a team now. She is my partner in every way. I am still madly in love with her, in a way now that I never could have understood as we sat under the stars on the harbor that first night.

She is my best friend.


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About Mitchell Brown

I am a stay at home dad with my two daughters who are a lot stronger than they look. When I'm not cooking, cleaning, dancing, reading, teaching, playing or protecting my eyes and groin, I am writing about this whole experience in all of its ridiculousness.
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12 Responses to My Best Friend

  1. If you haven’t shared this post with her you probably should. She deserves to see it.

    • I can’t wait until she has the chance to read it – that anticipation of her reading it was easily my favorite part of writing it. The funny part is that might not be until Sunday. Of next week.

  2. What an awesome post!

  3. David says:

    “Best Friend” and “Special Romantic Love” ; what could be better than that- two beautiful daughters? You are indeed blessed. I am jealous, although I know it is not good to be jealous of others, and I too have very much to be thankful for, and do. Nevertheless. (Is that a complete sentence? I think it is if you have a law degree.) It is often said that we get what we deserve, or what we work for. I am happy for you and yours. Thank you for sharing what you have. Very well said, by the way. May the seed of your words yield a bountiful and rewarding harvest. Brother Father.

  4. You beautiful, amazing man. Thank you for all of this. I love playing in the dirt with you.

  5. Maggie Batt says:

    Ah l’amour! That new love is so exciting. Keeping that buzz alive is difficult, yet you’ve managed to be romantic which is what most women want…bravo! You two are such beautiful, special people and I’m so glad to know you both.

  6. Columbiarose says:

    I see people natter on about bucket lists, but what could be more desirable than living to be worthy of having been so adored?

  7. Ruby says:

    Your best friend is the luckiest woman in the world because you are the sweetest and the best. Your little girls are also the luckiest to have you for a dad, just like you were lucky to have your Dad.
    I think you are a chip off the old block and that is wonderful.
    Much love to you and your family

  8. talleygilly says:

    Mitchell – Wonderful piece–this is one of my favorite lines: “We don’t dance like we used to because there are often four other feet between us.” I can see this so clearly (both the times when the little feet tangle among the big feet, and the times when they all work together). That image and this piece capture so much the change in focus, how love shifts with the movement from 2 to 4. Thanks so much for this. -A

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